


Staring Contest

by Bakageta



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-21
Updated: 2010-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-13 22:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bakageta/pseuds/Bakageta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shaun and Malik get into a staring contest, Desmond is the judge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Staring Contest

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the AC Kinkmeme.
> 
> Prompt: STARING CONTEST! Preferably between Shaun and Malik or anyone else you can think of.

“All right, that’s it!” Shaun announced, slamming his palms onto his desk and startling Desmond out of the light doze he’d fallen into. “I’ve had enough! A-Sayf: you, me, staring contest. Right now. Winner gets the last yogurt.”

Lucy glanced up from the records she was going over and looked as if she would say something before shaking her head and muttering under her breath about how she was going to hide the yogurt next time.

At the mention of his surname, Malik turned from the map he’d been sketching (having nothing better to do) and looked to Desmond.

 _“What is he going on about now?”_

 _“Shaun’s challenging you to a staring contest.”_ Desmond translated.

It had been nearly three full days since the Animus had glitched out in the most spectacular way Desmond had ever seen; burning out nearly a third of its components and dumping a cursing, Arabic man onto Desmond’s lap. The girls had immediately freaked out and had gone into a frenzy (Rebecca repairing Baby, and Lucy combing the data for ideas on what had happened) that they had yet to come out of, and had left Shaun and Desmond to look after Malik. Shaun had kept to himself and continued to coordinate the other Assassin teams while, for the first two days, Desmond had accompanied Malik in his exploration of the villa and surrounding town and answered any of the man’s questions that he could (so far the only one Malik hadn’t been satisfied with was how he’d gotten to Monteriggioni; Rebecca and Lucy had come up with something about crossed wires or maybe reversed polarities. It hadn’t translated well).

By the third day Malik had decided he wasn’t getting home and had gotten a hold of some paper and a pen and started sketching. It had been quiet for a while before Desmond noticed that there was a weird sort of back and forth going on between Shaun and Malik. He wasn’t sure who started it, but one man would watch the other while trying his best to not look like he was watching. Eventually the watched would glare at the watcher until they stopped, and then they switched places. Wash, rinse, repeat ad nauseum.

 _“A what?”_ Malik asked flatly.

 _“Two people stare at each other until one of them blinks. The one who blinks first loses.”_

 _“That sounds like two bull camels about to fight. I hate camels.”_ He said dismissively.

“Desmond, tell him about the yogurt.” Shaun demanded.

Desmond took a moment to wish that he wasn’t the only one who could speak Arabic before sighing and speaking to Malik.

 _“Shaun says that the winner gets the last yogurt.”_

Malik mulled this over for a moment.

 _“Tell the Camel-Novice that I accept his challenge.”_

“Well?”

“He accepts your challenge.” Desmond replied, and then added, “Also he called you a Novice. And a camel.”

“What?” Shaun asked as he brought a chair over to the table that Malik was sitting at. “What does a camel have to do with anything?”

Desmond shrugged and leaned back in his chair, ready to go back into his dozing.

At least, until Shaun smacked the back of his head.

“You idiot, you can’t go to sleep. You’re the bloody judge.”

Desmond almost protested before deciding that it would be easier to go along with Shaun’s crazy idea. He waited until the two contestants were seated across from each other before waving his hand between them and shouting go.

It was about as interesting to judge a staring contest as Desmond had thought it would be. But, he admitted to himself, he wasn’t sure who would win. Both men had years of experience pouring over written documents, which Desmond guessed would help with not blinking for long periods of time. Malik was used to drier climates, though, so maybe that gave him an advantage? Desmond didn’t really know.

After roughly ten minutes of the most intense staring Desmond had ever seen Malik emerged as the winner after reflex had gotten the better of Shaun who’d broken into angry curses immediately afterwards and returned to his computer. Malik had gotten up wordlessly and retrieved his prize and Desmond had given up on his midday nap and begun disassembling his hidden blade to clean it even though it’d been weeks since he last used it.

 _“Desmond,”_ Malik said after he’d had a few spoonfuls of yogurt, _“Tell the Camel-Novice that the yogurt is delicious. It’s too bad he was not able to master himself enough to be able to enjoy it.”_

“Shaun, Malik says the yogurt is delicious and—“

“Shut up Desmond.”


End file.
